Naruto’s Bad Luck Sasuke’s Rash & Edible Kakashi!
by xXSasukeluvaXx
Summary: Naruto comes across a cursed cookie that makes many wierd freakish things happen to him and Sasuke, Orochimaru, Kabuto, Kakashi and Iruka... Dare you read! Collaborated DOOM!109 hits, 3 favs...but no reviews awwwwwww T.T


**Naruto's Bad Luck, Sasuke's Rash and Edible Kakashi!**

**Disclaimer: We don't own Naru-chan of Naruto or much of anything else but toilet wash wash coconut wheeeeeeeeee!! Yeah and we don't profit.**

**A/N To clarify… we smell… Oi! NO!**

**Eh hem… we are the fanfiction writers Pepsi Dragon and xXSasukeluvaXx!!**

**The sisters of demented fanfiction!!**

**The following is a random collaboration whilst Pepsi Dragon has a headache and chubby belly :( and xXSasukeluvaXx um… blank…blank**

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One day Naruto fell down the stairs and at the bottom was a humungous and hairy fat old sweaty pimply mouldy smelling old cookie. 

Then a toilet seat fell on his third toe, Naruto squealed like a piggy pig and kicked the cookie of cursed bad luck and it exploded into a bazillion microscopic dust particles that clung to his Sasuke-face print thong.

Sasuke was walking by with and armload of fan girl presents. He also had orange and grey afros glued to each butt cheek, which jiggled when he skipped down the cliff.

Naruto followed screaming, "Teme! Those afros are cool! I want one!"

Sasuke and Naruto were skydiving down the side of Orochimaru's newly bought cliff and the bad luck cookie dust made Sasuke's fan girl presents ignite.

"OMFGLMAOBBQWTFFTW?!" Sasuke screamed, but saying that confused Naruto and made himself get a rash on his thighs.

As Sasuke hit the lake at the bottom and swam around rashy and irritated with kawaii duckies, Naruto was seized by Kabuto's giant swimming head-lice and was dragged all the way to Orochimaru's artificial face factory.

"Wha-?!" Naruto screamed in disgust as Orochimaru's artificial faces rolled by on a rusty conveyor belt and then got sprinkled with hundreds and thousands…of grated cheese and white chocolate and salt and chillies and pickled frogs.

Sasuke gasped and scratched his thighs furiously until the ducks could feed on his flakes of skin and dynamite.

"HELP!" He heard Naruto scream insanely as he was attacked by an Orochimaru face that claimed to be his Grandma.

Sasuke heard his cry for help and sped to the warehouse, he scratched his thighs once more while screaming, "Thigh flakes ATtACk!!! Ufoooooo!"

The Orochimaru-Naruto's-Claimed-To-Be-Grandma leapt on Sasuke's leg and laughed, "THIGHS!! I want to SUCK-!"

"Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Sasuke yelled.

"…YOUR BLOOD!"

"Sasuke nooooooooo! _I_ want to suck your face!!!" Naruto bellowed stomping on the Orochimaru-Naruto's-Claimed-To-Be-Grandma as he ran past.

Suddenly Kabuto appeared, an icecream in one hand and a giant onion in the other. He sank his teeth into the onion and smashed the icecream against his crotch whilst singing, "Holy Moly! I ain't got no underwear man!"

Naruto jerked to a halt as the eye stinging stench of the onion filled his nostrils, he turned and charged at Kabuto, before chomping his belly button by accident.

"Yeowch!!! Boom Chicka Wah Wah!!!"

Sasuke peeled the Orochimaru-Naruto's-Claimed-To-Be-Grandma off himself and wiped his shoes on it. Then he realised that he'd forgotten to turn off his oven at home!

"Omigosh!" He screamed, running off, "The Kill-Stupid-Big-Evil-Stupid-Akatsuki-Dumbass-Brother Muffins will be burnt!"

Kabuto's hair suddenly set on fire and he began flailing, Naruto flying off his belly and through the roof, landing in Orochimaru's bed.

"Wha-?!" Orochimaru hissed as the blonde lay dazed and dislocated on his mattress, "MUHEHEH! Kyuubi! I will extract your liver and cook it in a stew with Kabuto's onions and toenails!"

"AGGGHHHHHH!!! GET AWAYYYY!!!" Naruto screeched before leaping off the mattress and kicking the whole bed to outer space, where Orochimaru found his long lost bottle of pickled livers and Barbie doll heads.

Kakashi poofed next to Naruto, "Yo!"

"…"

"You have been cursed by the crumbs of the humungous and hairy fat old sweaty pimply mouldy smelling old cookie haven't you?" Kakashi whispered, eyeing his icha icha book with immensely 100 perverted cows power.

"How did you know?!" Naruto gasped, "HELP ME! It's making everyone all OOC and stupid and I'm having the stinking suckiest worst bad luck ever!"

"Well of course I'll help you…But first you have to give me your entire life's savings, so I can purchase a flying gorilla from the internet and travel to the island of perverted and beautiful topless triple boobed fat lipped extra HOT women cows…" Kakashi muttered excited.

"…Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!!! The helly hell hell?!!!" Naruto screamed as Kakashi suddenly turned into a cottage pie.

He turned around and realised Orochimaru had returned and cast an evil old man spell…I mean jutsu…on poor Kakashi sensei. Orochimaru ran over tongue pulsating in desire to eat the Kakashi pie, but Naruto was a speedy little fox and snatched his edible sensei up.

"You're momma's so fat!" Naruto yelled as he fled from the Snake sannin, "That farted and made the greenhouse effect!"

Orochimaru fell to his knees and sobbed, "No! My secret is out!"

Naruto ran to Iruka's and flung the Kakashi pie on the table, "Iruka Sensei! Kakashi got-!"

"UMMMMMMMM!!! PIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" He screeched as he sucked the entirety of Kakashi into his hoover face.

"Noooooooooo!" Naruto yelled, but it was too late, Kakashi pie was in Iruka's belly…

Iruka let out a little burp and blushed, "Thanks Naruto! That was delicious…very beefy…and somewhat…creamy."

Naruto ran through the streets of Konoha screaming, "Oh MY GAWD!!! I'M GAY!!!! And my sensei ate my other sensei…"

Sasuke appeared beside Naruto completely naked and covered in rashes, "GIVE ME ANTIHISTAMINEZ DOBE! MY PRIVATES ARE ON FIRE!"

"OMG!!! SASUKE!!! RASHES!!! FIRE!!!" Naruto looked closer, "Hey…That rash looks a bit like…an elephant! Sugoi!"

Sasuke twitched, "It's not sugoi! It's killing me!"

"Oh when will it END?!" Naruto belched.

Sasuke ripped off his pants and yelled, "It's the crumbs of the humungous and hairy fat old sweaty pimply mouldy smelling old cookie! Destroy your thong now!"

"What?! No it's precious!!! I'll have to kill you to protect it!!!"

"WHAT?!"

Naruto lunged forwards, arms stretched out like a zombies, until he heard a rip.

"NOO!! MY THONG RIPPED!!!"

Sasuke seized the opportunity and snatched the thong right off Naruto's dancing butt cheeks before setting the whole cursed item on magical Uchiha fire. Then everyone coughed and Sasuke's skin turned back to its smooth natural wonders.

Every fan girl within a hundred mile radius stampeded after him, whilst stomping poor Naruto into the ground at the same time.

"Oh my piñata!" Sasuke yelled happily, "I'm so sexy!"

"Itai…" Naruto choked, getting up, then a huge washing machine landed on his house and he cried about the bad luck and how he'd trade his third toe for some good luck…

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**Pepsi Dragon: I'm sorry (Bows Considerately) But hey! My headache is gone!**

**xXSasukeluvaXx: OMG it's such a freakish fic….yeah woot! It's almost as bad as my own…Please review now You know you want 500 calories :D !!**

**Pepsi Dragon: (Sweat Drops)**


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